When No One Understands… Or Cares

Living with same-sex attraction has been a lifelong series of ups and downs… and the time I spend down is pretty awful. Right now, my life is in order and I feel like I am on top of the world. But tomorrow, or the next day, it could very well start to spiral downward into an inevitable crumble into pieces… with or without my permission or any action on my part.I have clinical depression that is unrelated to being attracted to guys or the rigor or stress of societal structures… whic Continue reading When No One Understands… Or Cares

Homosexuality Isn’t Just About Sexuality

“Diagnosing” same-sex attraction relies on biological signs – men who are sexually attracted to other men, and not to women, and vice versa. But as I’ve lived and learned from my life, I’ve realized that same-sex attraction, especially for faithful Mormon members, is not just about physical urges. Sexual attraction only tells part of the story.When a good Mormon guy is dating a girl, he is usually looking for “chemistry” on multiple levels. Physical attraction – which is somewhat arbitra Continue reading Homosexuality Isn’t Just About Sexuality

My Vision for (Gay) Mormon Guy

I visited a site once that had a crazy strict comment policy. Essentially, anything that didn’t require intense thought to write wasn’t publishable, and was rejected before it even went up. There was a minimum word count. The comments that made it through the automated approval policy were subject to public review on a 1-7 scale… and if a comment got too many low ratings, it disappeared entirely. Post too many low-rated comments, and a subscriber lost his ab Continue reading My Vision for (Gay) Mormon Guy

My Breath Fogged up the Glass…

All sorts of music plays around me each day. I love Christian music for its messages, classical music for its predictable turns and powerful harmonies, Gospel music because it brings back memories of singing… Someone once told me I had the right stuff to be in a choir that sang Gospel, so I tried out and somehow made it in. I only stayed with the choir for one performance, and of that I remember “I’ll Be Your Bridge Over Troubled Water.” I love music from musicals and movies – as long as Continue reading My Breath Fogged up the Glass…

For Better or Worse… In Sickness… and Depression

I had a history teacher who was incredibly passionate in high school. He seemed slightly crazy and would bring up incredibly random facts and ideologies, then find ways to convince us of their application to life. Amid recommendations to read “The Last of the Argonauts” and attend obscure, questionable theatrical performances, he introduced us to biorhythms… and gave us each a chart with the task of mapping out our own individual biorhythm and corresponding highs and lows.I remember my Continue reading For Better or Worse… In Sickness… and Depression

Glorying in the Lord

When I started writing here at (Gay) Mormon Guy, I made the commitment to be honest. To lay all the cards on the table and play them like I see them, from my perspective. My hope was to be completely transparent… and in some way open up my experiences, thoughts, motivations, and feelings so that others could develop their own ideas and commitments in their own lives. That’s why I write here – the hope that people will be able to find hope, peace, and faith somehow.Sometimes, though, la Continue reading Glorying in the Lord

“Some Gays Can Change”

I recently received a well-written comment here that empathized with my frustration in relationships and the concomitant tension caused by attraction to guys. But at first I didn’t publish it, because part of it didn’t ring true to me.The part of the comment that kept playing over and over in my mind said, “And as frustrating as this experience is for me, it at least brings me peace in the certitude of the immutabili Continue reading “Some Gays Can Change”